A Birthday Letter to Noah

My beloved Noah,

Noah's 13th Birthday

Noah’s 13th Birthday

I woke up today and instantly remembered the best birthday gift that a mother could ever receive  – a beautiful baby boy…you. I started to walk to your room to kiss that gorgeous face of yours and wish you a happy 15th Birthday, when a cold sweat stopped me in my tracks. You’re not in your bed. I had forgotten. You see, in my dreams you’re still here with me. Running, laughing, skipping and smiling at me with arms outstretched while giggling you say, “Mommy,  I love you thiiis much!” I wish that I could sleep forever just so I can keep seeing you, healthy and happy like you once were. Then I remember that you are, once again.

What consoles me today as I plan on visiting your grave is that you are resting above on a big fluffy cloud with ethereal emerald wings behind you sitting beside all of your old and new friends that you’ve made and reunited with in heaven. You my love are a real angel now. Although to me you always were.

You, Noah more than anyone earned those wings. My love, my best friend, my hero, happy 15th Birthday. You will always and forever be my baby. Your smile is forever etched in my heart and I will miss you until the day we meet again. Tomorrow at your memorial, I hope that you will look down and be proud of all those candles that will be lit for you by all of your friends and family. Look out for Mommy. The biggest flame will be mine.

Love always and forever,


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